It's Not Personal : Acceptance



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Mindfully Ever After contains 52 chapters on how to stay happily in love by being mindful of the  common pitfalls 
that face many couples in today's world.

Buy it today as a
Wedding Gift
Anniversary Gift
Anyone in a relationship
MOSTLY, BUY IT
FOR YOURSELF 

Communication, Finance, Romance,
How to Fight-Right
and setting boundaries with In-laws 
are
a few of the topics covered!
Sample chapters available on Amazon.


Love is 
Energy 

and 

Energy is 
Everything!
 Introduction
My hand naturally glided into his as though it had been there before—snug, warm, comfortable. My future husband guided me to the dance floor

 with ease, somehow knowing our bodies would fit together like yin and yang. Corny as it sounds, I felt like Cinderella meeting my Prince 

Charming. When the music stopped playing at the stroke of midnight, neither one of us wanted to say good night. So, unlike Cinderella who 

dashed away to her awaiting pumpkin, I agreed to venture onto his cousin’s well-worn pontoon boat and we leisurely puttered into the pitch 

blackness of the Monongahela River. 


It wasn’t until we were in the middle of the river that my prince realized his cousin had neglected to tell him that one of the pontoons had a major 

leak. Not that it would have mattered. As the boat’s exaggerated tilt sank deeper into the murky waters, we talked until dawn. 

A mere year after our meeting, we had the word forever engraved inside thin wedding bands that would be paid off in just twelve easy 

installments. 


We didn’t care that he had another year of college and I had my first teaching job at a salary of a whopping five thousand dollars a year. What we 

didn’t have in money was made up for with fiery chemistry that could split an atom. Convinced our love would conquer all, we called our parents 

the morning we planned to elope. This was by no means a spontaneous decision. We had previously found a little church in Maryland where there 

was a kind minister who spoke with us about love, commitment, and the sanctity of marriage. We talked about the future and how we would be one 

of those old couples who always hold hands, finish each other’s sentences, and call each other “Mom” and “Dad.” 


In truth, we had no idea what we were doing. Time proved that love wasn’t enough. Through the years, outside factors and meddlesome people 

cunningly seeped into our lives, playing manipulative games under the guise of caring. The future of our marriage was doomed; we just didn’t 

know it. Just as I had ignored the sinking pontoon, it took me twenty-three years to take responsibility for the underlying feelings of lies and deceit 

that came to define our marriage. 


By the time we sought counseling, the relationship was far too fractured to be repaired. The gray, dingy clouds aptly predicted what was to come 

that fateful day as we walked up the steps of the therapist’s office building. I, for one, had high hopes that he could save us. During that one-hour 

meeting, we first met with the psychologist together, then individually, then together again. At the second together meeting, the doctor told me that 

he needed to see my husband by himself. He said that his issues had to be dealt with before he could help us as a couple. 


With a brief sense of relief that my suspicions were confirmed, I felt a deep sigh release the tension I had been holding firmly within my body. But 

as I recovered, I realized that there was no real cause to celebrate. I felt the counselor’s gaze through his thick, black-rimmed glasses. His smile 

was gone. Neither did he give us any word of encouragement. Not one word. His solemn tone told me that we weren’t fixable. My glance moved 

to my husband as I searched for a sign of hope, but he was mindlessly staring into space. The man I shared my life with couldn’t even look at me. 

Intuitively, I knew we were over. It was a very quiet ride home. 


For the longest time, being divorced bothered me. The word stuck in my throat like a frog that couldn’t hop. The first time I had to check “single” 

on my tax return made me physically ill. Divorce shouldn’t happen to any couple as much in love as we had been. Not to us. Yet, it did.


Granted, I’ve been told that I look at the world through rose-colored glasses, and while I readily admit that I have a tendency to be gullible and 

naive, the one thing I had learned was the value of discernment, the necessity of setting boundaries, and to seek help sooner rather than later. So 

when I married again eight years later, and a boundary was broken, I offered him a choice—therapist or attorney. He chose the attorney.


While I never imagined I would be writing the intimate details of my personal life for all the world to see, I’m grateful to be able to share the 

lessons I have learned and for the spiritual guidance that led me to know that I’m exactly where I’m meant to be. What began with an idea, a 

yellow tablet, and determined desire to help couples honor love, this guide developed to prevent and identify problems before they reach the point 

of no return. 


There are many mindfully ever after marriages and yours is most likely one of them. By becoming aware of the snags and snares ahead of time, 

you’re certain to gain sure-footed confidence on how to keep the sanctity of the vows you made to one another. 


The challenge for couples is blending embedded tribal beliefs, desires, and expectations to create the ideal marriage. Although there’s no one-size-

fits-all set of rules for everyone, reading this book offers the opportunity for meaningful discussion. Matrimony requires supernatural vigilance to 

recognize seemingly insignificant issues, prevent them from escalating, and reach resolution before they become a volcanic mountain of 

irresolvable differences. If you take the same tender care a winemaker exerts as he watches over his vineyard, your love is destined to mature to a 

ripe old age.


Naturally you’re going to have differences of opinions. There will be changes in job situations. And, people will float in and out of your lives who 

prove to be influential challenges. You may even have a strained living arrangement. Know that whatever has happened to you has happened to 

someone else. Pay attention and learn from others! You are not alone. By keeping your values and goals intact, you’re certain to stand in truth with 

one another for now and always. 


Although there are no guarantees in life, living in the zone of mindfulness is truly a pathway to a loving, calm, and caring tomorrow for an ever-

after lifetime of happiness. Thank you for taking Mindfully Ever After on your magnificent journey of love. I applaud your commitment.

As you embark on this incredible adventure, I wish you Godspeed. Just as the astronauts did when they rocketed to the moon, as you cross the 

threshold to a life together, strap in for the ride of your life!






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It's Not Personal

by Paulette Glover on 05/23/20

It’s Not Personal

        Be mindful of the perceptions you make about the people around you.

Adopt the ‘It’s not personal’ belief for inner peace and contentment.

  Whatever is said or done, whether by your partner, a parent, boss, or a

 stranger in passing, know that it’s not personal! I know the internal struggle it

 takes not to personally accept insults when directly aimed at your heart. But 

know that when you do take another person’s words or actions personally,

you’re giving him or her power over you while he merrily rows his boat, 

whistling a happy tune, and your feelings are the piece of lint flicked off a 

sleeve.

     However, by changing your perception of any person, event or circumstance, an entire new scene opens up to you. For example, if I’m cut off in traffic, I replace being ticked off by changing my perception. I put myself in the offender’s place and think, maybe there’s a baby crying, perhaps he’s late for a job interview, or, she just wasn’t paying attention and didn’t mean to.       

     Changing your perception is like looking through the windshield of your car, what you see is what you get--- it isn’t personal that there’s construction, detours and potholes. Even if a person’s dog craps in your yard, is it personal? Maybe she forget to bring a cleanup bag, or, could it be, that he’s just plain rude?  Accepting that there will always be rough roads, changing scenery, and people who let their dog crap in your yard as part , it’s all part of the human experience. Accept that there are rude and ignorant people regardless of where you live. And know that there are more kind and thoughtful people if you permit yourself to see them through a compassionate lens.

    Once upon a time, I was guaranteed a supervisor position if I returned to grad school for certification, which I did. Thousands of dollars in debt later, when the position became available, it was given to someone else. Was I upset? Hell, yeah.  Did I take it personally? Oh, yeah. But, by not getting the position I had worked so hard for, I was open and available to follow an incredible spiritual journey. 

     I don’t know why things happen the way that they do, but I do know that when you don’t take things personally, it may be Universe giving you the nudge needed to find the opening to your true path. Once you refuse to have your emotions dictated by other people, you’re able to surrender and open yourself to notice when new opportunities are being offered.

     Look at the people in your life. There are kind people, selfish people and judgmental people in your everyday circle of living.  It’s your choice to be with people that offer kindness and respect. Walk away from the ones with toxic energy. Once you stop taking the actions of others personally, you’ll find your relationship at home becomes less stressful and more satisfying.  It’s impossible to please everyone, so you must have the courage to be true to the one person who matters most---yourself. 

     Know that there will be people in your immediate family who won’t understand when you no longer give permission to have your buttons pushed. After all, you’ve stopped playing the game.  When you hear, “My how you’ve changed!” and you’re able to respond, “Thank you for noticing,” feel the pride of taking control of your life. Trust your inner voice. By integrating ‘It’s not personal’ as your guided truth, you gain inner peace and happiness, regardless of the bumps in the road. You’ll be able to accept them for what they are---just bumps.      

     It’s taken me years to integrate the It’s not personal philosophy, but once I did, it was liberating!   Every once in a while, I catch myself sliding and have to be mindful that the behavior of the other person has nothing to do with me.  Whatever happened, whatever was said, it isn’t personal.                                          Be mindful of the empty boats in your life and search inward. 

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Mindfully Ever After 
is available 
anywhere books are sold!

Amazon, Barnes & Noble, 
Balboa Press, Ebay, Target, 
Walmart and Alibris

Even my great niece enjoyed it!
Reid Tracey of Hay House 
Publishing with Paulette